Too often in education, people try to find the right balance between generosity and strictness, i.e. the right methodology. But there are other questions that are crucial.
Only a few fathers are suitable for the responsibility of bringing up children, as they still need a strict upbringing themselves in order to learn self-control, forbearance and empathy. Only when they possess these qualities themselves are they able to bring up their children properly.
How can the moral sensitivity of fathers be awakened so that they recognize their duty towards their offspring and take it seriously? This topic is very important and interesting, as future national prosperity depends on it. With deep seriousness we would like to remind fathers, as well as mothers, of the great responsibility they have taken upon themselves by bringing children into the world. This is a responsibility from which only death can release them. In the first years of the children’s lives, the main burden and care for the children lies with the mother, but even then the father should be at her side with help and advice, encourage her to build on his great affection and help her as much as possible.
Where are my priorities?
The most important thing for the father should be the task he has towards his children. He should not push them aside in order to achieve wealth or gain a higher position in the eyes of the world. In fact, the possession of wealth and honor often creates a separation between the husband and his family, and this especially inhibits his influence over them. If the father’s goal is for his children to develop harmonious characters, bring him honor and bless the world, he must accomplish extraordinary things. God holds him responsible for this. At the last judgment, God will ask him: “Where are the children I entrusted to you? Did you bring them up for me so that they praise me? Does their life in the world sparkle like a beautiful diadem? Will they enter eternity to honor me forever?
What types of character do my children have? – Explaining with patience and wisdom is better than punishing
Some children have strong moral abilities. They have enough willpower to control their minds and actions. Other children, however, have physical passions that are almost impossible to control. To do justice to these contrasting temperaments, which often occur in the same family, fathers, like mothers, need patience and wisdom from the Divine Helper. One does not achieve so much by punishing the children for their transgressions. Much more is achieved by explaining to them the folly and heinousness of their sin, understanding their hidden tendencies and doing everything possible to steer them in the right direction.
The hours that many fathers spend smoking [and the like] would be better spent studying God’s parenting style and learning more lessons from the divine methods. Jesus’ teachings open up new ways for the Father to reach the human heart and teach it important lessons about truth and justice. Jesus used familiar things from nature to illustrate and memorize his mission. He drew practical lessons from everyday life, people’s professions and their daily dealings with one another.
Time for conversation and in nature
If the father frequently gathers his children around him, he can guide their thoughts into moral and religious paths on which light shines. He should study their different tendencies, susceptibilities and susceptibilities and seek to reach them in the simplest ways. Some are best approached by reverence and the fear of God; others are better reached by bringing before them the wonders and mysteries of nature, with all its marvelous harmony and beauty, which speaks to their hearts of the Creator of heaven and earth, and of all the wonderful things He has created.
Time to make music and listen to music
Many children who are blessed with the gift of music or a love of music receive impressions that last a lifetime if this receptivity is thoughtfully used to instruct them in the faith. It can be explained to them that they are like a discord in the divine harmony of creation, like an out-of-tune instrument that sounds disharmonious when they are not one with God, and cause God even more pain than harsh, discordant tones cause their own fine musical hearing.
Knowing how to use images and illustrations
Some children are best reached through sacred images depicting scenes from Jesus’ life and ministry. In this way, the truth can be imprinted on their memory in vivid color so that it will never be erased. The Roman Catholic Church is well aware of this and appeals to people’s senses through the appeal of sculptures and paintings. Although we do not sympathize with the worship of images, which is condemned by God’s law, we do believe that it is right to take advantage of the love of images that is almost universally found in children and thereby instill valuable moral values in their minds. The beautiful pictures that represent the great moral principles of the Bible bind the gospel to their hearts. Our Savior also illustrated His sacred teachings through the images in God’s created works.
Awakening insight is better than forcing it – cliffs are better avoided
It will not be possible to establish an iron rule that forces every member of the family into the same school. It is better to educate gently and appeal to the conscience of the adolescents when it comes to imparting particular lessons. It has proven to be a good idea to respond to their individual preferences and character traits. While a uniform upbringing in the family is important, the different needs of family members should also be taken into account. As parents, find out how you can avoid making your children quarrelsome, provoking anger or stirring up rebellion in them. Instead, arouse interest, stimulate them to strive for the highest intelligence and perfection of character. This can be done in a spirit of Christian warmth and patience. Parents know their children’s weaknesses and can firmly but kindly curb their tendencies to sin.
Vigilance in an atmosphere of trust
Parents, especially the father, should make sure that the children do not perceive him as a detective who examines, monitors and criticizes all their actions, ready to intervene at any time and punish them for any offense. The father’s behavior should show the children at every opportunity that the reason for correction is a heart full of love for the children. Once this point is reached, much is gained. The father should be sensitive to the human desires and weaknesses of his children, his compassion for the sinner and his sorrow for the erring one should be greater than the sorrow the children can feel for their own misdeeds. If he brings his child back to the right path, he will feel it, and even the most stubborn heart will soften.
How Jesus became a bearer of sin
The father, as the priest and the one who holds the family together, should take the place of Jesus as far as possible. Despite his own innocence, he bears sorrow for sinners! He endures the pain and the price that the offenses of his children cost! And he suffers more than they do while he punishes them!
“… the children imitate you in everything”
But how can the father teach his children to overcome bad tendencies when they see that he cannot control himself? He loses almost all his influence over them if he becomes angry or unjust or if anything about him indicates that he is a slave to an evil habit. Children observe keenly and draw clear conclusions. A rule must be accompanied by exemplary behavior for it to take effect. How will the father be able to maintain his moral dignity before the watchful eyes of his children if he consumes harmful stimulants or falls into another degrading habit? If he claims a special position for himself as far as the use of tobacco is concerned, his sons may also feel free to take the same right. It is quite possible that they will then not only use tobacco like their father, but also slip into alcohol addiction because they think it is no worse to drink wine and beer than to smoke tobacco. So the son sets foot on the path of the drinker because his father’s example has tempted him to do so.
How do I protect my children from addiction?
The dangers of youth are manifold. In our affluent society, there are countless temptations to satisfy lust. In our cities, young men are exposed to this temptation every day. They fall under the deceptive glow of temptation and satisfy their lust without a second thought that they could be harming their health. Young people often succumb to the belief that pleasure lies in unrestrained freedom, in the enjoyment of forbidden pleasures and in selfish self-gratification. They then acquire this pleasure at the expense of their physical, mental and moral health and in the end all that remains is bitterness.
How important it is for the father to pay attention to the habits of his sons and their companions. First of all, the father himself should see to it that he is not a slave to a depraved lust that diminishes his influence over his sons. He should deny his lips any indulgence in harmful stimulants.
Men can do much more for God and their fellow men when they are in good health than when they are suffering from sickness and pain. Tobacco and alcohol consumption as well as bad eating habits cause illness and suffering that make us incapable of being a blessing to the world. Nature, which is trampled underfoot, does not always make itself felt with cautious warnings, but sometimes with severe pain and extreme weakness. Our physical health suffers every time we give in to unnatural cravings; our brain loses the clarity it needs to act and discern.
Be a magnet!
Above all, the father needs a clear, active mind, quick perception, calm judgment, physical strength for his strenuous tasks and especially God’s help to coordinate his actions correctly. He should therefore live with absolute moderation, walk in the fear of God and obey His law, have an eye for the little kindnesses and pleasantries of life, support and strengthen his wife, be a perfect example to his sons and a counselor and authority figure to his daughters. Furthermore, it is essential that he stand in the moral dignity of a man who is free from the slavery of evil habits and passions. Only in this way can he fulfill the sacred responsibility of educating his children for the higher life.
From: Signs of the Times, December 20, 1877
Source: hoffnung-weltweit.info
